How solo travel helped me heal my heart after divorce
I’ve always loved travel and seeing the world. However, when I divorced my partner of 10 years, I promised myself I would not let my newfound singledom hold me back from living my best life. Little did I know, my subsequent solo travels would be absolutely pivotal to my healing journey.
The story goes like this…
As a relatively anxious flyer, my ex husband was a safety blanket for me whenever we traveled anywhere. I’d grab his hand if there was turbulence and I’d rely on his (far superior) navigation skills to get us around our destination. So the prospect of my first trip abroad without him was pretty daunting!
Now I’ll be honest, I wasn’t quite brave enough to go FULLY solo on my first adventure, so I explored travel companies for solo travellers. I’d heard of 18-30 travel companies, as well as Saga. But at 33, I wasn’t quite in that age bracket yet. So after a bit of Googling, I stumbled upon Flashpack - what a find! They specialised in travel for solo travellers in their 30’s and 40’s. BINGO! My ex never really fancied South America, so I of course made a beeline for South America trips. I landed on a trip to Brazil and before I could talk myself out of it, I pressed ‘book’.
My Mum thought I was mad and was convinced I would get sold for a goat.
As my departure date edged closer, I could feel the heady mix of excitement, anticipation and sheer terror. I was shitting myself. So many “what if’s” - what if I don’t get along with anyone from the group? What if my roomie is a nightmare?? I quietened the little voice in my head with a few glasses of fizz on the plane and settled in to the 11 hour flight.
From the moment of meeting the group, I knew my worry was for nothing and I’d made the right decision. A likeminded bunch of other sociable singles who also loved travel.
May 2018.
A selfie with some of my fellow Flashpack group on the famous Escadaria Selarón steps in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
Friendships being formed and memories being made!
Since my first solo group trip to Brazil in 2018, I’ve since used Flashpack to travel to Sri Lanka in 2019 too. The Flashpack group trips really helped me develop a new found confidence when it came to travel as a single woman in her thirties. In 2022, I found my big girl pants and did my first fully solo holiday to Fuerteventura for a week. It was so liberating!
The 7 unexpected benefits of solo travel when healing after a breakup:
You face your fears and push out of your comfort zone. It made me realise that I could do absolutely anything I wanted to and I didn’t need to rely on having a partner in order to have new experiences. I realised that my single time didn’t need to be the ‘waiting room’ of my life, but a vibrant, exciting time where I embraced my new freedom.
You grow your tribe. Solo travel helped me make new likeminded friends at a time when I felt so alone being single in my 30’s. It made me see that there were other awesome people out there who were single too.
It creates distance from your past. Being in an unfamiliar place draws a solid line between your past and the present. There are no reminders of your past in this place, only shiny new opportunities to explore and create new memories.
You really get to know yourself and what you’re capable of. When you travel alone, it teaches you a lot about yourself. You start to re-connect with yourself and learn to rely on you again.
You will grow in confidence 10 fold. Courage + action = confidence. Doing something that scares you and pushing out of your comfort zone will boost your self-confidence like nothing else. Our self-confidence can take a nose dive after a relationship ends, but
You will make new memories. When a relationship ends, a void is left in your life and heart. We can try to fill that void with food, alcohol, or other unhealthy habits. But solo travels enables you to fill that void with new energy, new people and positive new experiences.
You realise that you can be alone, but not feel lonely. This was a biggie for me.
